Fanfic / Chaldea Evil Incorporated!

Dr. Heinz Doofensmirtz is going through a dry spell after he stopped trying to take over the Tri-State Area, especially with his one-year ban from making inators on American soil thanks to a political mishap. Luckily for him, he gets an offer from an organization in Antarctica named Chaldea.

And as he and his archnemesis Perry the Platypus find out, they are about to be involved in some crazy magic.

Chaldea Evil Incorportated! is a Fate/Grand Order and Phineas and Ferb crossover by UnderdogEmiya that is currently ongoing.

This fic can also be read on SpaceBattles.com here. It can also be found in Archive of Our Own here.

Chaldea's Evil Tropes!

• Adaptational Early Appearance: Wodime, Daybit, Pepe, Akuta, and Beryl are seen much earlier due to Doof entering Chaldea before Ritsuka's arrival.
• Adaptational Modesty: After finding out that Ushiwakamaru, Fujimaru's starting Servant who wears a Stripperiffic armor, is physically sixteen to seventeen years old, Dr. Doofenshmirtz drags her aside, then builds a Cloth-Inator to give her something more concealing, though he uses up all available power sources before Ushiwakamaru sticks with a black bodysuit underneath her revealing garbs - in short, her outfit in Type Lumina.
• Alas, Poor Villain: While the corrupt Servants of Fuyuki F need to be put down, it's made clear they only became this due to the mud from the Holy Grail. When Medusa, Heracles, and Artoria are put down, some small respects are given to them as they die.
• Always Someone Better: While Doof can make some really good prosthetics, he notices that Touko's puppet arms are superior to his own metal arms, even capable of feeling through them as if they were made of flesh. That said, Touko has also admitted Heinz's technology has the potential to improve her own puppets as well.
• Arbitrary Skepticism: Olga Marie Animusphere is a magus and the leader of Chaldea, an organization dedicated to protecting human history through time travel and summoning Heroic Spirits. At Daybit's suggestion, she hires Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz to be one of Chaldea's replacement engineers and has reluctantly allowed secret agent Perry the Platypus to stay undercover as her pet and keep an eye on him. Yet despite all this, she dismisses the idea of two pre-teen boys from Heinz's hometown of Danville inventing all sorts of crazy contraptions as mere rumors, at least until she gets in contact with them during the Incineration of Humanity. In Olga Marie's defense, she at least has evidence of Doofenshmirtz's inators while Phineas and Ferb's inventions vanish at the end of each day without any lasting impact.
• Armor-Piercing Question: When Olga grows frustrated with Doofensmirtz and readies to fire him, Doof simply asks her a basic question: Was Marisbury a good father? To her surprise, and as Doof points out, for all the admiration she has for him, she cannot say if the feeling was mutual.
• Artificial Limbs: Both of Heinz's arms are artificial. He originally used purely mechanical ones, but Touko later makes a pair of magecraft ones for him that have better sensory capabilities after he loses the former in Singularity F and is reduced to using crude replacements.
• Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: During the aftermath after Singularity F, Touko is shocked when she realizes that for all the annoyance she felt towards Aoko, she sheds a tear for her. She had other people she cared about like the Ryougis, but it still came as a surprise for her.
• Big Damn Heroes: After ending up in Singularity F, both Perry and Doof find themselves before a Servant and about to die. Through their cries for help and extremely good luck, they find summoning circles and end up summoning Alexander the Great and Atalanta to save them from death.
• Birds of a Feather:
  • Heinz and Touko grow close in Chapter 4 due to many shared traits, such as their past of being overlooked for their younger sibling and eagerness to experiment.
  • Suggested by Iskandar as the reason that Heinz was able to summon him without an artifact since Masters tend to summon servants compatible with them without outside influence. Doofenshmirtz emphasizes his disbelief by pointing out the differences between them. It's later suggested that the compatibility comes from the many times Heinz has tried "conquer" the Tri-State Area, while Iskandar is the "King of Conquerors".
  Heinz: How the hell are we compatible? If I am the geeky nerd, then you are the jock that picks me up, puts the garbage can in my head, and locks me into the locker!
• Break Them by Talking: Upon Lev revealing himself as the mastermind of Chaldea's explosions, he then proceeds to cruelly reveal that every aspect of Olga's life, the hatred drawn to her, her hope in making a good Chaldea, everything was manipulated by him. Her only friend. By the time everyone from Singularity F returns, Olga has become catatonic from the emotional stress itself.
• Brought Down to Badass: While Touko is still a powerful magus, the Incineration ended cutting her connection to her puppet bodies and to all the crests she hoarded through the years.
• Chekhov's Gag: After taking a liking to Doofensmirtz, Touko Aozaki leaves one of her puppet bodies behind in Chaldea so she doesn't have to travel 12 hours in a plane back to Europe. This not only lets her survive the Incineration of Humanity, but in Chapter 9 she performs a Big Damn Heroes moment and scares the Demon Pillar Lev to not hurt Heinz or the other heroes.
• Comically Missing the Point: When Mash points out to Ushiwakamaru that Ritsuka is a bit ill about her cutting off her enemies' heads, the warrior nods in understanding... and promises to warn him when she brings a head.
• Commonality Connection: As Doof finds out, he and Olga aren't entirely different. That being, both had parents who were neglected them and deep down they wanted acknowledgment and love from them. He also finds common ground with Touko on account both felt underappreciated and upstaged by a younger sibling.
• Covert Pervert: While Ritsuka is a respectful young teenager, even he can't entirely prevent his thoughts from commenting on Mash's 'armor' for the first time.
• Cut Lex Luthor a Check: After giving up on trying to conquer the Tri-State Area, Heinz has become rather wealthy from selling his Inators, and it's noted that he could have made a lot of money for evil Inators selling his Artificial Limbs technology.
• Death by Adaptation: Outside of Perry and Doofenshmirtz, the entire Phineas and Ferb cast is hit by this thanks to the Incineration of Humanity.
• De-power: Touko draws energy from a collection of Magic Crests she keeps in Garan no Dou's basement and has slaved to her puppet network. When she arrives in Chaldea after the Incineration, she realizes the Crests have stopped fueling her final puppet, considerably reducing her power.
• Destructive Saviour: Touko complains that Aoko is this. She does lots of gigs for other organizations, like taking contracts to hunt undead from the Church, but, because of how she utilizes Blue, she had the bad habit of causing tons of collateral damage.
• Did Not See That Coming: Considering the absolute rarity of non-human Masters, aside from Wolf, Atalanta certainly didn't expect her Master to be a platypus. Let alone one as badass as Perry.
• Downer Ending: Full stop with Chapter 9. Despite defeating all the corrupt Servants, felling Artoria Alter, and even driving Lev away, everyone in Chaldea discovers they're the only humans left on Earth. Doof, Perry, and Ritsuka enter a full Heroic BSoD while Olga goes catatonic from betrayal. It's not helped further when Doof and Perry find final messages left for them, leaving them crying by the Chapter's end.
• Drowning My Sorrows: After everything that occurred, the Incineration, Lev's betrayal, and the many deaths in Chaldea, Cu finds Olga drinking alcohol. Her slump is so bad that Olga implies she's trying to kill herself by alcohol poisoning, though Cu and Iskandar manage to stop her.
• Epic Fail: Hinako Akuta, an elemental spirit supposed to be inherently connected to the world and nature...thinks platypi are birds. She's rather baffled when she's corrected that they're mammals.
• Evil-Detecting Dog: Perry is able to sense Fou's true nature as Primate Murder while Mash and Romani remain oblivious to their wordless exchange.
• Fee Fi Faux Pas: When Doofenshmirtz meets Touko, he passingly notes that the auditor set to inspect Chaldea is someone called Red, a reference to her hated nickname (in fact everyone keeps referring to her as such behind her back, and Heinz only heard them refer to her that way rather than by name). While Touko is very annoyed, she swallows her wrath when she realizes Doof honestly neither recognizes her nor realizes why it would be a sore point for her.
• Five-Second Foreshadowing: When Doofenshmirtz talks with Vanessa, she admits that Dansville is experiencing small quakes with no apparent source. It's revealed later through Phineas and Ferb that these quakes originate from outside space and time and heavily imply that it is the beginning of the Incineration of Humanity.
• Friendless Background: Mash admits to Ritsuka that aside from Team A, she didn't have many friends in Chaldea.
• Good Parents: Doof is very much this, having raised his daughter quite well for all the antics he does.
• Heroic BSoD: During Vanessa's final message, she reveals that Phineas had likely entered this state after seeing his friends vanish and implied to have been the last of his family to survive. In Chapter 9, many of the main characters also enter this upon realizing their loved ones and friends are gone.
• Hope Spot: In Chapter 5, Phineas And Ferb get through to Chaldea through Doofenshmirtz's phone call to his daughter Vanessa, sharing their space-time data to Olga-Marie about the Incineration of Humanity and their plans to replicate Chaldea's defense. Given the boys' track record in the show, many readers anticipated that they would be able to survive just like Chaldea. However, Chapter 8 reveals that without the full context of the Incineration plus Chaldea's geographic location, Phineas and Ferb were only able to buy Danville just a bit of time before being erased like the rest of humanity, much to Heinz and Perry's despair.
• Immortals Fear Death: Normally, thanks to her body backup drive, Touko doesn't fear dying, at most finding it a nuisance. But once she realizes she's on her very last body, as the Incineration ended erasing all of her puppets, she's understandably unnerved by the realization she can actually die.
• I Need a Freaking Drink: Olga Marie takes out a bottle of old expensive wine after realizing that Touko "The Red" Aozaki is "Ship Tease lovey-dovey" with Dr. Heinz Doofensmirtz, her current big headache. The narration adds that it won't be the last glass she pours that night.
• Insistent Terminology: Romani insists that he is Mash's guardian, even though it's obvious to everyone that he fills a fatherly role perfectly.
• Killer Rabbit: Despite Fou's small and cute appearance, Perry's instincts tell him the creature is more dangerous than he looks.
• Kneel Before Zod: Fou takes personal offense to Mash petting Perry, and tries to establish dominance this way. Despite knowing full well he's facing down an Animalistic Abomination, Perry refuses.
• Know When to Fold 'Em: Very downplayed with Iskandar in his life regarding Drusselstein. Despite his nature as an outgoing conqueror, he takes the warning from Delphi seriously to not invade the Eastern European country unless he wants an early defeat... at least until he conquers the rest of the world.
• Laser-Guided Amnesia: Subverted with Iskandar and Atalanta. Servants are not supposed to remember their past summons, but to their surprise, they can recall the events of Fate/Zero and Fate/Apocrypha respectively.
• That Man Is Dead: When Touko reveals her survival to Lev, she comments that she can't recognize any of the personalities she knows about. Lev just claims that the man she knew is gone for good - which the readers see occurring in Chapter 4 when all of his personalities become Demon God Pillar Flauros.
• Man on Fire: From Touko's perspective during the Incineration, everything burned to a crisp from the heat near-instantly.
• Mass "Oh, Crap!": In chapter 7, The various Servants all panic when Berserker heads towards them in fury after Iskandar damages the Einzbern Ruins while escaping with his master Doofensmirtz. He and Atalanta especially freak out when she recognizes Berserker as her former crewmate, Heracles.
• Mean Boss: Due to Olga's own insecurities and desire to uphold her father's dreams, Olga tries her hardest to make everything perfect. Unfortunately, her personality, combined with Lev's subtle manipulations, only makes her appear worse to everyone, sometimes shouting due to being unable to handle the situation itself.
• Mood Whiplash: The story can start very humorous and become dark and dramatic before returning to its original tone.
• Must Have Caffeine: Most Chaldea staff, to the point of giving Heinz the cold shoulder for destroying the Da Vinci-created coffee machine. Touko is later shown to be a caffeine fiend as well.
• Not So Above It All: Dr. Romani is more than happy to have Beryl in a full body cast just for a broken leg and a fling few petty jokes as payback for Beryl breaking Mash's finger on a whim before the story.
• Noodle Incident: Touko comments that one time, one of her bodies was carelessly stored somewhere where a guy 'made use' of it. She ensured his balls were never found after that incident.
• Oh, Crap!: Caster freaks out when Atalanta hears Berserker coming, and that Doofensmirtz and Iskandar unwittingly pissed him off by appearing in his territory and Iskandar breaking part of the Einzbern castle. Atalanta and Iskandar share his reaction when she recognizes Berserker as her crewmate Heracles.
• Open Mouth, Insert Foot: In Chapter 4, Da Vinci is already furious after watching The Da Vinci Code, and Romani only makes it worse when he mentions the book.
• Point of Divergence: One of the earlier changes in the story is the Clock Tower's decision to send Touko Aozaki rather than Lord El-Melloi II as an auditor to Chaldea.
• Psychic Link: Contracted Servants and Masters can communicate with their thoughts. Despite being from different species, Atalanta can communicate with her Master Perry thanks to this link.
• Real After All: As it turns out, the supposed fictional characters in Excaliferb were indeed real, Malifishmertz being a genuine magus from the Doofenshmirtz lineage. Though considering that he's portrayed in a children's story, it's safe to say the Mage Association managed to ensure the events were suppressed and whatnot.
• Respected by the Respected: The reason that Doofensmirtz gets hired as a new engineer for Chaldea. He was recommended by Daybit, one of Team A's Masters and a respected magus.
• Rousing Speech: With the reveal that the Incineration can be undone, Olga gives a speech to everyone to give morale support and that hope still exists.
  Olga: I know I was not liked here. Lev…he may have said it was his work that put some of that hate in your heads, but I don't believe he can make emotions brew out of somewhere. Regardless of how he acted, some of you may still dislike me despite that… And that is fine. Hate me, despise me. Call me with whatever words you want, but do so under one condition: to never give up."
  For years, Chaldea has selected the best of the best, the cream of the crop, to fight against this specific scenario. We lost much, but we are what remains: the final bastion of humanity, I am tired. For the last few hours I was attempting to drown my sorrows with the last Carbenets of humanity over the treason of what I thought was the one person who would never turn his back on me, and I'm tired! I'm angry! I should have been a leader, and instead acted like a child who lost sight of her parents!
  "The road ahead…it is a path that none of us can predict where it'll end. In success. In failure. But, as the last embers of humanity, it's our duty to see through what happens next and fight for the rest of it. So…don't give up. Don't give up… The Saber of Fuyuki…she spoke of a Grand Order. This is the journey we must undergo. The Grand Order against the Incineration begins now!"
• Sapient Pet: Perry is transferred to be Olga's pet so he can watch Doofensmirtz and make sure he doesn't accidentally blow up Antarctica or something similarly bad after getting hired by Chaldea.
• Sibling Rivalry: While Doof is known for his animosity against Roger, Touko has hers with Aoko. Admittingly, more violent, but Lev attests that after many years the two are on more amicable terms.
• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Da Vinci initially resents Heinz after his upgrade to her coffee machine causes it to self-destruct. However, the two of them start a hot-blooded and intense rivalry once she finds out he's an eager inventor like her.
• Small Role, Big Impact: Flauros, the token good alter of the Lev Lainur collection only appears at the end of Chapter 4 where the other two personalities assimilate him into Flauros the Demon Pillar after his failed attempt to tell Touko Aozaki of the upcoming Incineration of Humanity. However, his actions help benefit Chaldea and work against Lev's plans.
  • First is that Lev's assimilation was spied on by Perry, leading to the platypus's investigation and setting up a chain of events towards Olga's survival and he and Doofenshmirtz joining Ritsuka as the Last Masters of Humanity.
  • Second is that while Flauros's plan to warn Touko failed, her decision to leave one of her puppets behind in Chaldea not only saves her from the Incineration, but lets her scare off Lev before he could kill the heroes in Singularity F.
• Spanner in the Works:
  • It's heavily implied that the reason Daybit requested Doofensmirtz to be hired is that the evil scientist and his logic-defying genius may discover a way to stop CHALDEAS from initiating its plan before Part 2.
  • Flauros's desperate effort to get Touko to inspect Chaldea and failed attempt to warn her of the Demon Pillar's plan inadvertently threw plenty of wrenches into Lev's plans, including Olga's survival, two additional Masters of Chaldea, and Touko unintentionally joining Chaldea.
• Spared by the Adaptation: Thanks to Norm taking Olga's place, she avoids getting killed by Lev's bombs during the first Rayshift.
  • Where Touko likely burns with everyone else in canon FGO, here she survives thanks to leaving a puppet body in Chaldea.
• Sticky Fingers: While their Cain and Abel rivalry over the Fifth Magic remains fierce, just before the Incineration Touko was more annoyed with Aoko for stealing her credit card and wasting a lot of her money.
• This Is My Human: Perry can tell that Fou cares deeply for Mash, and the unknown creature gets jealous of Mash has her attention on another cute creature. Perry can relate as he sees Phineas and Ferb as his boys, despite being different species and that the Platypus is their pet.
• Traumatic Superpower Awakening: After discovering Vanessa died, Doof apparently awakens some form of power in him that allows the scientist a type of telekinesis, capable of breaking down machinery and reforming them into another type of machinery for his own use.
• Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Apparently, SHEBA had detected irregularities that Chaldea originally assumed were the Incineration happening sooner. As it turns out, it was Doof and some of his Inators. A reminder that some of them are very dangerous; one removed the Earth from its axis and put it away from the sun nearly causing an ice age and another nearly destroyed the space-time continuum (the latter implied to be what SHEBA detected).
• Villainous Legacy: Discussed by Major Monogram to Perry the Platypus after they find out that Heinz has been hired by the Chaldea Security Organization as an emergency engineer. Monogram reveals that Doofenshmirtz is a potential descendant of Malifishmertz, a rogue magus that terrorized Drusselstein in the 1800s. Fearing that Doofenshmirtz will be tempted to use magic for evil like his ancestor even after his Heel–Face Turn, Monogram assigns Perry to go undercover as Olga Marie's pet to keep an eye on his Friendly Enemy.
• Villain Reveals the Secret: As part of his plan to break their spirits, Lev Flauros tells Heinz, Perry, and Ritsuka that the Incineration of Humanity has claimed the lives of all humans outside of Chaldea, and their loved ones were among the casualties.
• Villain with Good Publicity: Despite Perry and Doof finding evidence that Lev isn't all he seems, the fact that he has a stellar reputation with everyone in Chaldea with a lack of evidence means that it's hard to believe he would be the mastermind behind the attack on Chaldea. His reputation only falls after he admits his crimes to everyone in Chaldea before leaving.
• What Is This Feeling?: For all the downs Doof experienced in his life, he struggles to sleep and is agonized over Vanessa's death. As Da Vinci puts it, he's mourning, which is an emotion Doof has never really felt before. Thankfully, he moves on from it with the reveal that the world and his daughter can return by undoing the Singularities.
• The Worf Effect: Even when not in his Demon Pillar form, Lev Flauros managed to manhandle Iskandar and Ushiwakamaru with ease - one is one of the most famed kings and conquerors to ever exist and the other had Homefield Advantage active, meaning she was way stronger than usual.
• Worse with Context: Played for Laughs with the reason that Doofensmirtz is banned from making inators on American soil for the next year, namely that he turned a governor into an elephant by accident. The worst part is that the governor was a Democrat ^{For Non-Americans}He was turned into the mascot of the Republicans, their rival party
• You Are Better Than You Think You Are: When both Cu and Iskandar discover Olga plans on committing suicide, the two speak with her and claim that while she wasn't the best, she's still someone that cares and that killing herself won't do anybody any good and she should strive to lead. Olga seems to take this to heart and stops drinking.
• You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: Perry the Platypus and Olga Marie are both flabbergasted when they see that Dr. Heinz Doofensmirtz and Touko Aozaki are taking a liking to each other in Chapter 4. Olga takes up a bottle of old expensive wine at the idea that the Red is in love with one of her biggest headaches.